It’s a fact of life. People fail us. Friends, family, spouses, boyfriends, best friends. Some people don’t mean to let you down, other people let people down intentionally. Whether it’s making a promise they didn’t keep (and maybe, it was a promise they never intended to keep.), not doing something they said they would do for you, saying something hurtful, not being the person they portrayed themselves to be…..and the list goes on and on.
Sometimes, people “let us down” because we have unrealistic expectations for them…..so when they don’t “do” or “say” what we expect them to, we get upset about it. I’ve learned that If people are letting me down because of my expectations for them……(what I want them to do or say in a particular situation.) I need to stop it and let them be who they are and take things one step at a time. That usually takes care of things on my end.
Sometimes, people let us down intentionally. These are the people who pretend to be your “friend.” They act like they are there for you…..they volunteer to do things for you……”Oh, let me come over on Saturday morning and help you paint that room.” They never show up and then they don’t answer their phone. You brush it off and then the next time you see them, you say “I thought you were going to come over on Saturday….You should stop by and see how my living room turned out…..” and they say “oh, yeah, sorry about that. My Aunt was in town and we went to San Fransisco for the day.” You forgive them, move on and a few weeks later, they make another promise they don’t keep or say something hurtful to you…….Does this sound familiar to you? I’ve had a few of these “friends” in the last few years. When I sense a pattern like this, I’ve learned not to expect them to do what they said they would do and I consider it a “bonus” if they really do follow through. :)
I’m big on not looking at surface issues, and trying to find the root cause. So, I try to analyze the situation and if they keep coming up with off the wall reasons why they weren’t able to meet for lunch, or come to Grace’s birthday party, or start saying hurtful things to Grace and I, then I stop initiating contact with people like this. This type of situation came up not long ago……a woman I knew that would always say things like “I’m so glad we’re friends” started saying some very hateful and hurtful things to me and about Grace and I to other people……”What is wrong with her?” I asked my mom…..”Why is she picking on Grace of all people?”
She’s jealous…….”She’s JEALOUS?” I ask. “WHY would anyone be jealous of US?” I ask.
What I’ve come to realize is that sometimes, people look at who we are today and they wish they were that person, or wish they had your blessings so they become jealous. They think….she has such a good attitude, her baby is so sweet……she’s a single mom, how can she drive such a nice car? I wish I had a job like her’s. I wish I could play the piano like that (OK, these are my mom’s words, not mine :) ) It seems like everything goes right for her…….everyone likes her…..and they start getting jealous.
(OK, these are my words now) What I don’t understand is that people don’t think of what I had to go through to be where I am today. I honestly believe that if I hadn’t been in an abusive relationship, I would still be floating through life, taking every day for granted.
When we go through tough times, it’s up to us to become better people because of them. Do people see my blessings and wish they were in my shoes? Why is that? Do they want the trials and the hard times that brought me to these blessings and who I am today, or do they just want the blessings? Life is a growing process for everyone,but a true friend cries with you during your sorrow and rejoices with you when you receive blessings…..they don’t get upset because good things happen to you or because you come out of a bad spot in life and even better person.
Here’s the lesson I’ve learned from all of this: Surround yourself with true friends, positive people, and people who want to see you reach your goals……don’t spend your time and energy with people who are trying to drag you down.
People will let you down in life, but you know what? I’ve found that no matter what, God doesn’t let us down. He’s always there for us 24/7, He’s always ready to forgive, and He always wants good things for His children.